I was off for the month of December. I didn’t like being off work but things had just got too much. I hoped to catch up with myself but instead I just sat around with the equivalent of recently cooked pasta in my head.
Thanks to Radio 4, yes some people still listen, I clicked on a link to take an ADHD online test. Now this appears to be the latest trend, and as someone initially sceptical of students claiming ADHD , I wasn’t sure what to expect. However, I didn’t expect it to match me so thoroughly. Check for yourself below. I don’t have substance misuse; never touched a cigarette or taken any drugs other than that prescribed by a Dr and the occasional glass of -OH, but I do use food as a soother! I am also almost never late, including being seven minutes early for my own wedding, but that was something drilled in to my by family.
| Task | Link |
|---|---|
| Scenario | Scenario |
| User Manual | Instructions A5 Instructions 1xA4 8 to a page |
| Task 1: Grid | Grid |
| Task 2: Receipt | Shop receipt |
| Task 3: Questions | questions radiation v3 questions radiation v3 |
| Task 4: Half Life | Half Life |
| Task 4: Half Life graphs | half life graphs |
| Task 5: Guess What | Guess who cards |
| Task 6: Diagram | Chain reaction v2 Chain reaction advanced |
So where has this left me?
I feel quite liberated that many of those traits that I hate in myself can be discovered to be part of this. It explains why I can’t sit through meetings without my mind wandering and why I always take copious notes to try to keep me focused and following the thread, and it explains why I don’t really remember much in the past. It explains why I but in and finish people’s sentences, and if I’ve ever done that to you I apologise now. For me, everything is clearer.
I now understand why I’ve never given a good interview in my life and why, despite hours of planning I throw it away in impulsive comments. I know I wouldn’t give myself a job based on how I perform in an interview, but maybe now people will consider other things I’ve done. From being plaqued by my lack of success in moving up the greasy pole of promotion I understand that the real problem wasn’t my lack of ability to do the job, but the lack of adaptation in the interview process to see the best in a large group of the population. I am not making excuses you understand, but it allows me to free myself from the self-hatred of thinking that I am pretty useless at most things.
There have been some amazing benefits of this too.
Suddenly I can identify symptoms in others, as clearly as holding a mirror up and viewing myself.
I don’t think I would have achieved so many interesting things in my teaching career but for the rapid boredom of the mundane
The GP says I don’t meet the threshold for a diagnosis on the NHS so I will ponder what it means. However, with OH giving me ticks for all symptoms except crossing out dangerous driving for careless driving, and a GP friend saying he’d known about this for years; I can now start explaining so much about myself. It is as if a cloud had lifted and what is left behind is a beautiful clear view for miles around.
If you want to keep posted of what happens in my journey I think you can subscribe to mrsphysics.
I would say suddenly the pasta head felt like it had been rinsed and was so much lighter. I’ll try to get an image of what I mean.
https://neurodivergentinsights.com/misdiagnosis-monday/adhd-vs-adhd
